A Decade

Ten years ago today I woke up at 4am after a few hours of sleep and started getting ready for my wedding.  My sister woke up and did my hair (beautifully), and I slowly did my makeup.  I drove to the temple in Bellevue with my parents and sang the Primary song "I Love To See The Temple" at the top of my lungs. 

Today, a decade later, I woke up at 4am after a few hours of sleep and started getting ready for work.  I nursed Rosie after taking a shower, quickly did my makeup and brushed by teeth while I dried my hair.  There is no wedding to look forward to, but today I am infinitely happier then I was on April 6, 2001. 

A decade has brought about much change for Tom and me.  Trips across the world, two apartments, one house, too many horribly painful goodbyes, countless wonderful friends, three children, one life-changing diagnosis, but most of all it has brought us closer then ever.  I'd be lying if I said the last ten years were all smiles and rainbows.  The last few years in particular have been especially hard, but there came a point when we both, individually, decided that our trials would make us stronger, not tear us apart.  That being said, a decade has also brought us so much joy.  For our anniversary today, I wanted to share with all who read this what a wonderful man Tom is.

Tom is the most giving, selfless person you will ever meet.  Most people have no idea how hard he works and all that he does for his family, his church, his friends - because he is also humble.  He is not one to brag about his accomplishments, his goodwill or charity, he simply does what needs to be done because he wants to help, and he expects nothing in return.  Since the day Rosie was born, Tom has gotten up and done breakfast for Harper and Nora nearly every single morning.  On the days that I work he manages to lovingly get three little girls ready for the day and get himself showered and dressed by 9am.  I tell you, that is far better then I can do!!  Tom cares genuinely and deeply for the people he serves in our church.  As Elder's Quorum President he spent many sleepless nights worrying and praying for families in need.  He did this alone, as he is also extremely respectful of other's privacy, and never once spoke to me about any of the hardships he was dealing with.  As Young Men's President he is passionately dedicated to teaching the teenage boys in our ward how to be men.  I have no doubt in my mind that those young men will be better missionaries, employees, and husbands because of Tom's example.

Tom is STUBBORN.  Not quite as stubborn as I am, but very close!  When he was in elementary school he started wrestling, and his coach pretty much told him he was no good and wouldn't go anywhere with it.  I don't know if the coach was simply a jackass, or if he knew Tom really well, because all that did was push him.  In high school he helped his team go undefeated, wrestled in the state championships twice, and his senior year he placed first in his weight class at state.  Tell Tom he can't do something and not only will he do it, he will do it better then anyone else has ever done it before.

Tom is a wonderful cook, and I like to joke that he is more of a housewife then I am.  Every Saturday morning he comes up with a new breakfast menu (peanut butter stuffed French toast, Belgian waffles made from scratch, homemade cinnamon syrup, etc.), and he usually makes it while watching all three kids and letting me sleep in.  For the last three summers he has canned peaches, pears, green beans, tomatoes, homemade spaghetti sauce, pizza sauce, and chili starter, homemade jams and freezers jams of all varieties (strawberry freezer is my favorite), 5 different kinds of salsa, homemade tomato soup, apple juice, grape juice, apple pie filling, zuchini relish, applesauce, apple butter, apple chutney, and even more that I can't think of off the top of my head.  And, since for the last three summers I have either been pregnant or up all night taking care of a screaming baby, Tom has done 90% of this by himself.  Granted our kitchen has also been a giant disaster of apple goo and boxes of cans....but have you TASTED his jalapeno jelly??

Tom is fearless.  I am seriously in awe of this at times.  Not only would he do anything physically (jump out of a plane, bungee jump, etc.), but he also has no fear when it comes to people.  He could walk up to anybody and say anything!  Thankfully he also has a lot of self control and he very rarely says anything rude or obnoxious (which I am also in awe of).  The funny part is that even when he IS rude, he does it with a smile and totally gets away with it.  It's hilarious.

Tom isn't perfect, but he is perfect for me.  He's taught me to be patient and to finish what I start.  He helps me calm down when I freak out over what I later realize is nothing.  He pushes me to go out and be social when I just want to sit at home and veg, which has helped me foster many cherished friendships that I likely wouldn't have had.  He helps me keep things in perspective until I realize that no matter what happens, everything will be OK because I still have him.

I love you so much, Tom.  Happy anniversary!

Colonoscopies

Yesterday Harper and Nora both had colonoscopies - a routine (albeit uncomfortable) procedure for most adults, but a very serious and potentially dangerous procedure for two little toddlers. Thankfully Nora is much bigger then she was at her last one (I realized yesterday that she was smaller then Rosie, a 4 month old baby), so it wasn't as traumatic for her this time. As for adults, the prep is the worst part for the kiddos. With Harper it was easy to explain to her that the doctor needs to look inside her tummy, so it needs to be empty. She wasn't exactly happy about not eating for 24 hours, but she understood. Nora, on the other hand, was a nightmare. The girl eats non-stop on any normal day, and has figured out how to open the door to the pantry, so trying to keep food away from her was a challenge - a very sad challenge. She definitely did not understand why we were starving her.

The morning of the appointment the girls also had to stop drinking (except for another dose of the magnesium citrate, which I literally had to force down Nora's throat). Tom took Rosie to Melani's house while I tried to hold down the fort with two hungry, tired, grumpy little girls. To top it off I had to give them both an enema. Have you ever given an enema to a toddler? I won't even mention how many I've done. There is a lot of screaming, crying, holding down, promising prizes, and a LOT of poop. The whole ordeal is quite disturbing.

Once we got to the hospital Harper decided to stop being so understanding - she was very thirsty and begging for a drink. Thankfully we were at a children's hospital, so they had a TV, DVD player and Toy Story on hand. Harper was quite content, so we got Nora prepped with her IV and I took her into the procedure room. For the third time in her very short life I held her while she was put to sleep. An hour later Dr. Pickens came out with her results. The wonderful news was that her small intestine looked great! Last year it was so inflamed there were patches of celia completely missing from her small intestine, and her stomach was so sensitive that it starting bleeding when the scope bumped the side. Today it looks completely normal, so we are very happy about that. Her large intestine, on the other hand, looks yucky. Last year it was inflamed, but not to the naked eye - we had to go off of biopsy results. Today there are large patches of open ulcers, and the left side was a very pale pink, almost white color.

Now it was Harper's turn, and she was very upset that she was going to be asleep while they looked in her tummy - she wanted to see it, too! So we promised her pictures and Tom took her into the procedure room while I stayed with Nora. It took Nora a while to wake up all the way, but once she did she was thrilled to get a drink of apple juice and some fishy crackers. Dr. Pickens came back with Harper's results after about an hour, and there was no good news. Last year Harper's small intestine wasn't even affected, and today it is very inflamed with several large ulcers, particularly around the bottom of the stomach where it opens to the small intestine. Last year her large intestine was covered in ulcers, and today it is the same. The ulcers in her large intestine look very different then the ones in her small intestine - they are very small and white in color. Dr. Pickens described them as "pin prick ulcers", and he's quite confused about them. They don't look like "typical" Crohns' ulcers (like her small intestine ulcers, and Nora's large intestine ulcers), but I think we can agree that nothing about these girls is "typical". Along with the regular blood work (blood counts, liver functions, iron levels, vitamin D levels, etc.), Harper also had some blood drawn for a Nod2/Card 15 mutation test. This is a genetic test that will look at the specific gene that is associated with Crohn's to see if it is mutated. If it is, Tom and I will do some genetic testing that will help determine Rosie's chances of also having Crohn's. We will hear back on this test in a few weeks, and both girls' biopsies and other blood work on Wednesday.

Wednesday will also be the day that we start their methotrexate. This is a once weekly injection that I will do here at home that will hopefully do double duty and work on their Crohn's and their arthritis. It takes about 6-8 weeks to really take affect, so for the next few months they'll be continuing their regular medications in addition to the methotrexate, but our hope is to eventually be on just the injections. Not really looking forward to giving shots to the girls, but when I explained to Harper that it would help her legs feel better she was very excited. She asked if she would be able to do gymnastics without her legs hurting, and it broke my heart. I really hope these girls get some relief soon.

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, concern and love for my girls. We so appreciate our wonderful friends and family!

Any Given Day

Sunday morning started out like any day - fighting to get Harper to put her clothes on, Nora to get garbage out of her mouth, all while trying to nurse Rosie and keep Scout from eating the girls' breakfast. After church we headed up to Tom's parents house for a birthday party and Harper began to complain of a headache. I told her to close her eyes and try to take a nap, but within minutes she was puking all over herself, her seat, and Tom's seat in front of her. It went on for a good five minutes, and after getting her bathed and cleaned up in Grandma and Grandpa's tub, she promptly began puking all over her clean PJ's and hair. For the next 2.5 hours she puked like clock work every 20 minutes until around 7:30pm she started having bloody diarrhea.

We were warned when the girls were diagnosed that a stomach flu in these girls could very quickly turn very dangerous - I realized we were at that point and paged her doctor. An hour later we were checking in to Mary Bridge emergency room. Harper was pale as a ghost and couldn't even sit herself up. She was continuing to convulse and puke up white foam on a regular basis, and was even more upset at the thought of a "poke" (IV). I quickly promised her a unicorn pillow pet, something she has asked for every time we step foot inside Fred Meyer. It cheered her up a bit, but needles are far from her favorite thing. Thankfully these guys really know what they're doing and the IV was in before she even knew it. Her tears quickly turned to surprised interest in "all the blood" coming out of her, and an hour later after a dose of zofran (anti-nausea) and a bag of IV fluids, she was laughing at Enchanted. Tom slipped away to feed the animals and made a stop at Fred Meyer and came back with the magical unicorn - needless to say Harper was EXTREMELY excited. "Daddy, it's what I ALWAYS, ALWAYS WANTED," repeated approximately 30 times in the next 2 minutes.

Harper's blood work showed a high white blood cell count, but normal inflammatory markers. Thankfully it was just a stomach flu and for now it looks like it didn't affect her Crohn's. It was a very scary reminder of how quickly things can get bad for these girls. On any given day, no matter how good they feel when they wake up, we could be rushing them to the ER by the afternoon. This summer we will be walking in the Seattle "Take Steps for Crohn's and Colitis" fundraising walk - please consider walking with us or donating to our team. I want a cure for my girls.

Looking Forward

I'm a little late in blogging about the new year, but better late then never I guess. And since part of my New Year's resolution is to just do my best and not feel guilty about the rest, I'm just fine with being a week late.

2010 was such a roller coaster of a year. January started with Harper being the second one in our little family to be diagnosed with Crohn's and I can't believe it's already been a year. Both her and Nora have their up's and down's, but another resolution this year is to get these girls feeling GREAT. We will be making lots of big decisions in the near future about their care and treatment plans.

Also a year ago this month I came home from Costa Rica and found out I was pregnant with Rosie. I'm pretty sure I've never been so terrified in my life. I already had two very sick little girls, and the guilt about bringing another one into a world of pain was killing me. The pregnancy was really hard also, probably some of the toughest months of my life. But as soon as I held this little girl I knew with all my heart that she came right when and where she was supposed to.

Harder then my own struggles this year was watching my friends and family go through theirs. 2010 was tough, but let me tell you, these guys are TOUGHER! Two women in particular have inspired and taught me so much this year about so many things. I don't think I could ever go through what either of them have been through this year, yet through it all they are two of the sweetest and most caring and giving women I have ever known. C & M, you amaze me.

2010 taught me that MOMS ROCK!! In addition to the two awesome moms mentioned above, my mom has been quite literally a lifesaver for me. This woman works full time, is married to a bishop, has her own calling in her ward, volunteers at the temple (as shift coordinator no less), and has still driven 30 miles back and forth to my house at least once every single week since Rosie was born to help with the girls, the housework, dinner, and anything/everything else. She has listened to me cry and vent about everything (and nothing), and has come with me and helped keep me sane at the girls' doctors appointments. I don't know how I will ever repay her - except to be the best mom that I possibly can. So in 2011, THIS mom is gonna rock, too!

This year I will celebrate my 30th birthday - unlike some people, I am actually happy about this. No telling if I will still feel that way in a month when it's actually staring me in the face, but for now I am looking forward to it. And for sure I am looking forward to my 10 year anniversary in April! Rosie thwarted our big trip plans, but we forgive her :) We'll postpone to later in the year after her birthday. 2011 will also bring my little sister her first baby - and another niece or nephew for me!

So no pressure 2011, but I have high expectations...here's hoping you live up to them.

Update

Part of me wants to delete the last post, but I know I shouldn't. We all have moments of weakness, and if nothing else I hope this blog is at least real.

The girls saw the rheumatologist again on Friday and there was good news and bad news. Mostly bad news. The good news is that sarcoidosis is off the table - it's just Crohn's. The bad news is that both Harper and Nora have arthritis and it's getting progressively worse. We will start them on maloxicam this week (anti-inflammatory) and see how things go. They both see the rheumatologist again in a month, and if things haven't gotten significantly better they will need to do a dose of prednisone and start on methotrexate. The good thing about methotrexate is that in addition to treating arthritis, it is also used for Crohn's and colitis. The bad things are that it is a weekly injection that I have to do (Harper is terrified of needles), and it's chemo. Yeah, I realize it is a tiny, minuscule fraction of the dose that they would use for cancer, but it's still chemo. But if it will do double duty and take the tummy and joint pain away from both of my girls, I will love it. As made obvious in my last post, I am tired of them constantly being in pain.

As for the Crohn's part of the Crohn's (as opposed to the arthritis part of the Crohn's), the girls' GI doc spoke with their rheumatologist on Friday and he will get back to me this week about where we go from here. We had previously decided to re-scope both girls at their one year mark, and that has come for both of them. With the disease obviously progressing, I'm sure we will have to go ahead with that plan.

The great news is that both girls' CBC is still normal - neither have been anemic for a few months now! Yay!

Selfishness

This post is going to seem really selfish. I'm just warning you in advance. Sometimes you just have to get it off your chest and then move on.

First off, no matter what I have to deal with while taking care of my two kids with Crohn's, it's no where near as bad as having Crohn's. I get that. But can I just say that I am so tired of it? There are lots of things I'm really grateful for - good doctors, decent insurance, medicine that (sometimes) takes my babies' pain away, etc. But today I'm going to vent about the crap because it's building up and I gotta dump it somewhere.

It's been a little over a year since Nora was diagnosed and in that time I have racked up thousands upon thousands of dollars in medical bills. Pediatric colonoscopies are really expensive. Even if Nora let me sleep through the night I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to as I'd be too busy thinking of all the money that is going to the damn anaesthesiologist instead of a down payment for a house that will actually fit all my kids. I am tired of getting sent to collections for bills that I've already paid, I'm tired of spending my free time hauling my kids to the hospital for blood draws instead of taking them to the park. I'm tired of being so tired that I actually considered buying Depends so I don't have to get up to go to the bathroom. But most of all, I'm tired of watching my kids go through the crap they have to go to. I'm tired of hearing them scream in pain and I'm tired of not being able to do anything about it.

Ok, thanks for letting me vent - back to being a mom.

Magical Uterus and a Crohn's Update.

As I mentioned in my "Sisters" post in May, I am one of three sisters, the oldest born Oct. 3, the next (me) born Feb. 13, and the youngest born Sept. 26. My oldest daughter was born Sept. 26, my next born Feb. 13, and just 4 weeks ago my youngest little girl was born on my oldest sister's birthday, Oct. 3. To be honest I really didn't think it would happen - it's just too crazy! But apparently I have a magical uterus.

In late July at 30 weeks pregnant I went into early labor. I started dilating and I was on medication to stop the contractions. By 36 weeks I had made 3 trips to the hospital, gotten 3 shots of tributiline and had dilated to 5cm and it was only the beginning of September. There was just no way I was going to make it 4 more weeks! But somehow, miraculously (and thankfully), I made it to just one day before my due date and Rosalynd Eliza was born healthy and happy. Granted the 10 weeks of labor and bed rest were anything but fun, but it was so worth it for her to stay in there and grow as much as she could.

Harper and Nora absolutely adore their little sister and it is the best thing in the world to see them kiss and cuddle her. They are both very fascinated with me nursing Rosie and Harper keeps asking me if there are hands and spoons inside

me that make the milk.

And speaking of Harper and Nora, they are doing pretty well. Their GI is still having doubts about the Crohn's diagnosis and had them see a rheumatologist at Children's to test for Blau Syndrome (familial sarcoidosis). So far it doesn't look like that's what they have, although the doc did confirm that Harper has arthritis in her knees and ankles (which does happen with Crohn's). She will be starting on a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory in addition to the anti-inflammatory that she takes for her GI tract. Nora has also started complaining about pain in her knees so we'll see what happens with that. The really great news is that both girls are no longer anemic, both inflammatory markers are normal and both are gaining weight (though Nora STILL isn't on the growth chart). They follow up with the rheumatologist and GI next month, and they see an opthamologist (you can get granulomas in your eyes with sarcoidosis) in a few weeks. Over all I think things look pretty good. We are just hoping and praying that Rosie won't have to go through what these girls have. Even if she does end up having Crohn's, hopefully we will catch it quickly knowing what we now know. She was extremely fussy for about a week and her pediatrician prescribed her some meds for acid reflux - I had a horrible flashback to Nora's one month check up when the doc prescribed the same stuff (and was having the same symptoms), but Rosie is eating fine and gaining weight - both things Nora did NOT do. I just have to keep reminding myself that every time she cries it doesn't necessarily mean she has Crohn's....she also gets poopy diapers and other normal baby stuff. I'm just massively paranoid.

Things You Forget

For some reason that I can only imagine has something to do with sustaining our human race, you forget about how much pregnancy really sucks. Yes you remember getting huge, you remember a vague sense of uncomfortableness, some sleepless nights, etc., but you do NOT remember the specifics, all of the many, many little "joys" of pre-natal-hood.

For example, how to put on shoes. For many, a simple task. For those past their 5th month (especially on the 3rd pregnancy), not so much. This morning I went to put my shoes on and I apparently grew quite significantly overnight because it was rather difficult. I had to sit there for a minute and try to remember how I did it (only 15 months ago, mind you) with my other pregnancies. I suppose that is the one good thing about being preggers during the summer - flip flops are easy to put on no matter how enormous I get. Not that the weather has been anywhere near dry or warm enough for flip flops here in the Seattle area, but I'm assuming that at some point during the next 4 months it will be. Anyway, you kind of have to bend your legs like you're sitting cross-legged and shove your shoes on that way. I also recall making Tom zip up my boots when I was pregnant with Nora - although how I actually got them on in order for him to zip them is another matter, and one that I have completely blocked out.

There are also the Braxton Hicks contractions. Apparently these suckers start earlier and earlier with each pregnancy because I've been going strong with these bad boys since week 13. Yes I remember having them with Harper and Nora, but I do not remember them being so freaking uncomfortable. I feel like I need to have a little sit-down with my uterus: "Excuse me - I appreciate the fact that you are carrying my baby and that you are preparing for an intense day of labor some 4 odd months down the road, but really - I have better things to do then practice labor. Also, you've done this twice before, you know the routine. Give me a break."

The arm fat. I ask you, is it really necessary to gain 5lbs in each arm to deliver a baby?? At least when I was pregnant with Nora I could hide them under long-sleeved shirts and sweaters since it was winter, but unless I want to drown in my own sweat and/or die of heat stroke, that isn't going to happen this summer. I will have to show off the lovely arm jiggle every time I try to wave my kids over, or fix my hair, or you know...move...at all.

The stronger-than-any-other-force-known-to-man-cravings. It's certainly not something I am proud to admit, but when I was pregnant with Harper I couldn't drive by a McDonald's without getting a quarter pounder with cheese, and I had the thighs to prove it. This time I think I'm doing slightly better since I'm craving more fruit and veggies, but holy crap, I feel like I will actually die if I don't eat it right now. I was craving a good taco salad at work one day, but the closest good one is over in Westlake and I had a ton of work to do. I knew it wasn't going to be possible to get away and I actually started crying right there in my office. Then I felt like such an idiot for crying about food that I started crying even harder.

Which brings me to my next point - the completely out of control emotions. Not only have I cried about taco salad, but there was also the dead squirrel at the train station, the time I couldn't put my regular pants on, the House season finale (and, ok, every other House episode). And of course the things that would make a normal non-hormonal person emotional that pretty much turned me into a total lunatic - the death of a friend's husband, my sister's wedding, my friends' sick baby boy, my own daughters' fight with Crohn's. Really it just seems like crying is the response to pretty much anything. Sad? Cry. Happy? Cry. Angry? Cry while punching pillow.

And lastly, because I am being reminded this very second as I type, the weird positions the baby gets into while in utero. I'm remembering that Nora used to like one side more then the other, and it seems as though this baby is also starting that trend. Right now she is squeezed into my right side, so there is a huge, hard lump sticking out on the right side of my tummy, and just mush on the left side. It looks as insane as it sounds, and it is not comfortable in the least, but it is kind of funny to imagine the baby trying to get comfortable. "If I just curl my legs up like this....and then put my head over here....yeah...that's good...that'll do for the next month or so."

I'm sure I will be reminded of many more wonders as the months progress!

Sisters

I have two sisters, one 19 months younger then me, and one 4.5 years older then me. Growing up, 4.5 years was a pretty big age difference, but we still played together quite a bit. Granted it was mostly a slave game that Heather made up to get Erica and I to clean her room and bring her food (she sat in bed, speaking into a hollow toy tree to make her voice echo, calling us J8 and E6, our first initials and our age), but I think we still all had fun. And you have to admit, Heather was pretty creative.

Some of my most fun memories are of a summer that Heather and Ammon (at the time her boyfriend, now her husband) came home and lived with us while on break from BYU. We had a Super Nintendo that our dad had hidden because it had caused too many fights, but we easily found it and snuck it out every night to play it together. We had devised a complicated plan of action in case we heard anyone coming. Everyone had a job. Heather: grab all the controllers and run them to the console, hand console off to Erica. Erica: run console to the bedroom off the family and hand it off to Jennette. Jennette: hide console in cupboard in bedroom. Ammon: scream.

One night that summer we dressed in jammer-jams (button down PJ's), Ammon's complete with a necktie, and went to the drive-in theater. I have pictures of this night somewhere in my huge bin of old pictures, and someday I will find them and post them. This night is one of my favorite nights of my life, and probably the hardest I've ever laughed. I honestly don't even remember what was so funny (beyond Ammon's necktie), although I do know someone sprayed orange juice out of their nose and all over my mom's van. Someone tried to get out of cleaning it up, but E15 and J17 were not having it.

Now that we are all adults we still have wonderful times together. The three of us got to spend a week together in Costa Rica this past January, a week I will always treasure. Erica and I are so much alike in so many ways, it is almost creepy. So many times we say the same obscure thing at the same time with the same inflection and then laugh the same exact laugh. Heather is so caring and so protective of her little sisters. Kind of hard to believe now, but Tom and I actually had a hard time conceiving before we had Harper. I remember taking negative pregnancy test after negative pregnancy test, it was so depressing. One early Saturday morning I thought for sure I would see a little pink plus sign, but it wasn't so, and I called Heather crying. She cried with me, then told me to go hug my husband, the best advice I could get. I feel so connected to both my sisters, sometimes I sit at home and I swear I know what they are feeling.

Today I found out I am having my third little girl. Harper, born on Erica's birthday, Nora, born on my birthday, and our new baby, due on Heather's birthday. After having Nora I had a hard time dealing with the fact that I would never be able to give 100% of my time to each child now that I had more then one, but someone reminded me that I was giving them a gift they could never have on their own - a sister. So thank you mom, for giving me my two wonderful sisters (and, of course, my brother, whom I love equally but who isn't included in this post - but will be on my next pregnancy when I find out I'm having a boy due on his bday), and thank you to my sisters for being you.

Crappy Mother's Day To You, Too

It seems my Mother's Days are destined to be filled with crap. Not the metaphorical crap, as in "I had a crappy day," kind of way, but the literal, "There is crap all over me and my house and I have to clean it up and possibly go puke" kind of way.



Last year there was the Harper diarrhea, the dog eating the diarrhea diapers and spreading them throughout the house, then the dog throwing up the diarrhea diapers, again spreading it throughout the house (AFTER I had cleaned, sanitized and, when possible, bleached everything in my house). It seemed like there was a lot of poo the first time around when it actually came out of Harper, but it exponentially multiplied by the third time around.



This year, the day before Mother's Day, I cleaned up every type of bodily fluid imaginable. Over, and over, and over again. And each time I naively thought to myself (and once even said out loud, to no on in particular), "This HAS to be the last time for today...."



It started out as a really great day. Friday night Harper had her first sleepover at her cuzzies' house, so Nora and I had a leisurely morning, a yummy breakfast, and a fun Target shopping trip. When I went to my brother's to pick up Harper, Nora immediately went for what my mother calls the "Bubble Car." It's one of those plastic cars with the big bubbly looking top that you use your feet to make go, Fred Flinstone style. It was impossible to get her out of that thing, so when she had a dirty diaper I had to drag her out and forcefully hold her down while I took it off and wiped. In the 4 seconds it took me to let go of her and reach into my diaper bag for a clean diaper, she was back in the bubble car, sans diaper. I walked over, picked her up, laid her on the floor to put her new diaper on, and wondered what all that brown stuff all over the carpet was. It kind of looked like poop. Oh. It was poop. Nora has pooped in the bubble car, walked in it, got it all over me, and all over the carpet. I felt terrible, but of course Heather was a sweetheart and ran over to help me clean up.



After everything was clean I decided it was probably time to go, so I packed everyone up and headed over to my parents for an uneventful (read: no poop) afternoon, then headed home for dinner. This is when the real fun started. Harper fell asleep on the way home, and when we got home and I picked her up out of her car seat she peed all over me (still asleep). She's been in panties for over a month, but I guess the urge was too strong while she was sleeping. It woke her up, or maybe my screaming did, I got her in the house, washed up and clean, dry clothes on.

About 20 minutes after we got home I heard this weird noise coming from the hallway, so I went to investigate. For those of you who don't know our dog Scout, he is a little different. We love him, but high maintenance and high energy doesn't even begin to describe this dog. Like most Viszlas he has a touchy stomach, so Tom taught him to puke in the toilet when he was only a few months old. He does it on a regular basis, but he does not know how to lift the lid, and since I have been keeping the lid closed so Nora doesn't drown herself (yes, she would), or put any more of Harper's Barbies or clothes down the toilet (yes, she has), he has puked on the bathroom floor next to the toilet a few times. Not a big deal, but he is a big dog so it takes quite a few towels to clean it.

But I digress. I'm in the hall investigating the noise when I see Scout come out of the bathroom and puke on the carpet in the hall. The noise was him retching the first time on the bathroom floor. The smell is so overwhelming I run back into the living room to avoid puking on his puke, but I know it will be impossible to keep Nora away from it for more then 30 seconds, and the smell is starting to make its way throughout the rest of our house, so I take a few deep breaths, a drawer-full of towels, and head back into the hall. As soon as I get there I change my mind again and run back into the living room. Seriously, it is bad. Nora is fighting me like crazy trying to get back there, so I find some Febreeze and start spraying like mad and holding my breath while I head back again (Nora on my heels). When I get down on my knees to start the cleaning process, I realize he has thrown up POOP. Yes, you read that right. It's poop puke. He had just played outside for a while before I brought the girls in from the car, so I'm assuming it's some random dog's poop that he found, ate, then ate what looked to be about 2 lbs of grass to get it back up. Apparently the poop alone wasn't enough to make him puke.

I am really trying hard not to puke, but I am pregnant and quite sensitive to smells, so by the time I got to the portion of the puke on the carpet, I threw up on the throw up, which then made me throw up some more. So now I am sitting in my hallway, crying, surrounded by puke and trying to keep Nora away with my foot, and I hear in the living room, "Mommy, I peed." So I tell her to not move, get the poop puke cleaned up, then head out to get Harper cleaned up for the second time in the last hour.

About a half hour later we are eating dinner and I think to myself "Only an hour and a half until the girls go to bed, at least I won't be cleaning up anymore poop, pee or puke," when Harper gets a somewhat shocked look on her face and says, "Mommy, I peed." Again. At least this time Nora is strapped into her booster seat so I'm not trying to keep her away from a pile of puke or a puddle of pee, so I run Harper to the shower, rinse her off again, think there is NO WAY she will pee again in the next hour so I put her in another pair of panties, PJ's, and back to finish dinner. We read stories before bed and head into the bathroom to brush teeth. Harper likes to stand on the toilet seat and lean over the counter, and while standing on the toilet, she peed her pants again. Couldn't she have at least just lifted up the seat???

After the girls were both clean, dry and in bed I decided to organize my closet, so Tom came home to his wife sitting in the closet, surrounded by a huge pile of shopping bags (I save them for a few months then purge), shoes and sweaters everywhere, crying and trying not to think of the poop puke lest I throw up again.

Being a mom is so hard. Not just because you have to constantly clean up every type of bodily fluid imaginable, although that does really suck. It is mentally and physically exhausting and there is never any down time. Even if the kids are asleep or at preschool, you are always "on-call", poised and ready to do whatever is necessary to take care of your children. And yes, I would do anything.

The next day at church, Harper ran up to sing Mother's Day songs with the other Primary children, and louder then any of the other kids I could hear Harper, looking right at me, sing (yell) "MOTHER, I LUB YOU! MOTHER, I DO!", while I'm holding Nora who is laughing, pointing at her sister and waving. I'd clean up poop puke again a million times over, just for that moment.

Updates and News

Nora - continuing to do great and up to 17lbs. She is a wonderful eater, eating (or at least trying) pretty much anything we give her. Hopefully someday she will be able to sit in a forward facing car seat, haha. She had her first birthday on Feb. 13th, we went to the Children's Museum in Factoria and she absolutely loved it. She is a little copy cat, watching other kids to see what they do, then copying as best she can. She says a few words, mostly "kitty" and "dog", but she also just started saying "all done".

Harper - her colonoscopy in January showed ulcers and inflammation throughout her colon, but so far it doesn't look like it's affecting her small intestine. In other circumstances they would have diagnosed her with colitis, but because of Nora's diagnosis they compared the two girls' tissue slides and the inflammation is almost identical. Both girls now have a diagnosis of Crohn's, although it is so rare and shocking that their doctor (and the doc down in San Francisco) is still somewhat questioning it. But all other blood work and tests seem to point in the same direction. Harper hasn't responded as well to the medication, but I've seen some improvement just this last week, so I'm hopeful.

Last month I got a much needed break and spent a week in Costa Rica with my two sisters. It was beautiful and relaxing and so much fun! The day after I got home I got the shock of my life when I found out I was pregnant! I was shocked and terrified and worried all at the same time. It took a few days, but soon I couldn't help but be excited.

I've had a couple ultra sounds and all looks well. I'm about 10 weeks along and due Oct. 4th - although if I continue with my current pattern, he/she will be born on my sister's birthday, Oct. 3rd. Because I thought I was a little farther along then what I'm actually measuring, it seems like it's going by super slow, which really sucks. The "morning" sickness is really getting old, but I'm hoping it will end at 14 weeks like it did with the last two. I had been working out a lot before I got pregnant, so I've been trying to keep it up (in between the puke), but last night as I was doing sit ups I could feel where my ab muscles are separating (to let my uterus expand) and it was really sick. I got really freaked out and had to stop, haha. Which is weird because it hasn't bothered me with the last two pregnancies, in fact I used to trick Tom into feeling it to freak him out, hahaha.

It's early yet, but I'm predicting it's a boy. With my other two I craved meat, especially cheeseburgers. With Harper I couldn't drive by a McDonald's without getting a quarter pounder and with Nora I was really lucky to be in CA twice and get several In N Out's. With both of them I thought it was a boy because I figured I was eating like a boy. With this one the very thought of a burger literally makes me gag* (except for In N Out, which I will always love no matter what). In fact, any kind of meat makes me sick, I just want veggies. So since I'm eating like a girl, I guess that means it's a boy? Nine more weeks to know for sure.

And along with my exciting news my sister has some of her own. She is getting married! We had planned on going down in May for her grad school graduation, so instead we are now going down for a wedding. She is so happy and in love, I'm ecstatic for her. The best part is that his name is Eric - Eric & Erica, hahaha.

*Seriously, just typing this paragraph was a huge risk. There was lots of dry heaving involved.

Well it seems I am only updating on Crohn's disease as of late, and unfortunately this post isn't gonna be any different.

Good News:
Nora is doing great!! She has gained 2 lbs and now weighs over 15lbs. Still not on the charts, but getting closer. She has started walking a tiny bit, taking a few steps here and there and seems to love her new skill. Dr. Heiman down in San Francisco confirmed the Crohn's diagnosis, and we learned last month that Nora is the only baby in Washington with the disease. There is one other in CA (the other one that Dr. Pickens helped diagnose), but that's all that we know of on the west coast. I wasn't kidding when I said it was rare.

Not So Good News:
Harper went in for her preliminary blood work and it looks worse then Nora's did. She is anemic and her inflammatory markers are very high. She goes in on Wednesday for a colonoscopy and endoscopy - I know it seems a little extreme to do just based on some iffy blood work, but after what we went through with Nora we aren't messing around. If Harper has Crohn's we need to know now so we can start on treatment right away.

I was able to connect with a woman who used to be in the Orting ward who has a young son (13 now, 7 at diagnosis) with Crohn's, and it was so great to talk to her. She was reassuring, encouraging, non-judgmental (yes, I have been judged for putting my daughter on steroids - people are stupid), and all around awesome. She has always been someone I've looked up to and it was so great to reconnect with her and get some advice.

I promise I will get a non-Crohn's post in here soon. Christmas pics and more are forthcoming.

The Latest

Here is the latest news on Nora:

Three weeks ago Nora started on predisone to calm her immune system and get the inflammation under control. She promptly got a bad cold which she couldn't fight off and became very sick. It was a really rough week for her. Her antibody test came back indeterminate, which definitely doesn't mean she doesn't have Crohn's (anywhere from only 40% to max 70% of IBD patients have the specific antibody pattern), but the doc wanted to run some additional tests just to be sure we weren't dealing with another autoimmune disorder that was affecting her GI tract (all tests were negative). Dr. Pickens also sent her biopsy tissue down to Dr. Heimen in San Francisco who will look over them with his pathologist to make sure nothing got missed. I would also like to mention that they are doing this for FREE. We have wonderful doctors.

Anyway, the week was filled with lots of blood tests, doctor check up's, and stool tests (I am a pro at collecting poop now...if there was a degree in it I'd totally have it - Jennette Worton, Doctor of Poop Shovelling). She lost weight and was all around miserable....however, her blood work was PERFECT!! No anemia, white blood cell count was normal, and all her inflammatory markers were ZERO. The prednisone had done its job splendidly, so we took her off it immediately, and a few days later she got much better (and popped 3 teeth out).

She has now started on sulfasalazine, a topical anti-inflammatory drug that has no immunosupressant effects, which is good and bad. Good that she will be able to somewhat fight off bugs that come her way, but bad in the sense that the drug technically isn't helping the underlying issue of the disease, just helping the symptoms. However, since we don't know a lot about the progression or severity of her disease yet, I think no immunosupressants is a good thing, especially with how well she is doing this week. She is so bubbly and happy, laughing all the time, giving high 5's, saying new words, playing with her sis, chasing the cats. After lots of help from Grandma Lee on Saturday night she is also now taking a bottle, and since yesterday she has even started taking her special formula - yay!! She is definitely on the mend and I couldn't be happier.

Once again, THANK YOU to everyone for all your help, your thoughts, prayers, and encouragement.

A Diagnosis

For those of you who already got this email, sorry for the repeat:


This week Nora was diagnosed with Crohn's disease, an autoimmune disease that affects the gastrointestinal tract. It is extremely rare in infants and we owe a lot to our wonderful pediatric GI, Dr. Pickens for being stubborn enough to figure out what was going on with our poor little baby. Yesterday Tom and I met with Dr. Pickens and a nutritionist to talk about treatment options, which unfortunately are limited with Nora being so small and so young. It is very different then treating an adult patient or even an older child. Some doctors (Nora's included) believe that Crohn's starting in infancy is actually a separate pathogenic subgroup of the disease, one that unfortunately is still a big mystery in many ways. But the good thing is that research is being done and doctors are finding out more and more each year.

According to Nora's tests (endoscopy, upper GI and colonoscopy), the disease is, at this point, affecting her esophagus, duodenum and ileum (in the small intestine), and in every part of her colon that they took biopsies in. It is extremely painful for her, and it is making her anemic and deficient in various vitamins and minerals and stunting her growth due to the villi in her small intestine being unable to do its job (absorb nutrients) because of the inflammation. However, even among the painful disease and procedures and tests over the last 6 weeks Nora has for the most part stayed a cheerful, smiley, happy baby. She is a fighter in every sense of the word.

This week Nora started on prednisone, a steroid that will suppress her immune system and calm the inflammation. Because of the severe side effects of steroids Nora can only be on it for 4-8 weeks, at which point she will move on to an immunosuppresant called Imuran, which is one of two drugs that comes in a dose small enough for Nora. It has some scary side effects, but we will be staying up on them with weekly blood tests for the first few months, then every three months after we get her up to the right dose and feel good about how it is effecting her body and working on the disease. For the next few months we will have to be very careful in doing everything we can to make sure Nora doesn't get sick - because her immune system is suppressed she will get sick very easily, and because of her disease any diarrhea or vomiting or fever can be very dangerous for her. We love you all, but if you are sick STAY AWAY!!! :-)

We are so fortunate to live where we do and have two amazing children's hospitals withing 40 miles of our house. Dr. Pickens also used to work with the leading inflammatory bowel disease expert on the west coast (Dr. Heimlen in San Francisco), and he has already consulted on Nora's case. We are also blessed to live among so much family and such wonderful friends who have overwhelmed us with their love and support. Thank you!

Today's Update

I know, twice in two days - it's amazing, what can I say.

Just wanted to give a quick update on Nora. She slept relatively well last night and seems to be feeling a lot better today. She had some good laughs with Harper and seemed to be a little more of her feisty, happy self. She does seem rather fatigued and tires easily, that is probably from the anemia. But all in all I feel like I can get back to focusing on more important things like setting my sister up with Nora's doctor.

Nora

I typically like to keep my blog light and funny. No, my life isn't all rainbows and sunshine, I just like to amuse you all with a hilarious spin on motherhood, work, school and all that goes along with those things. Obviously there is some serious crap involved, but personally I think blogs should be funny so I like to turn that crap into lemonade....er something.



However, most of you know that my 9 month old daughter Nora has been struggling for most of her life with pain that we don't know the cause of, and many have asked for an update this week after several procedures and tests. That being said, this post will probably be a downer. There's your disclaimer.



At Nora's one month check up her doc decided she had acid reflux and put her on Zantac. It seemed to work for a few weeks but she was back to screaming and not eating rather quickly. After a change to Prevacid we thought we had things under control until about 5-6 months old. Nora has never been a great sleeper - she typically wants to be held and even then she really only sleeps for a maximum of 3 hours at a time (if I'm super-duper lucky), but around 5 months she took a turn for the worse and was up most of the night screaming in pain. Most nights I "sleep" sitting up in bed with Nora on my chest, or Tom walks her around. Finally at 7 months after insisting to her doc that there was something else wrong he referred me to the GI clinic at Mary Bridge. We saw Dr. Pickens for the first time a month ago today and at that point Nora was off all growth charts and losing weight. He ran blood work and some other preliminary tests to find her inflammtory markers high, white blood cell count high, and red blood cell count low. Although very rare in infants, Dr. Pickens suspected Crohn's and did an endoscopy and flex sig the next week, which showed villi loss in her small intestine, blood in her stomach, and unhealthy tissue throughout her stomach and small intestine.. Biopsies were negative for eosiniphilic disorder (a white blood cell disorder), celiac (gluten intolerance), positive for inflammation, pointing again to Crohn's.



This week he did an upper GI with small bowel follow through (drink barium contrast and take x-rays ALL DAY while it goes through your system), at which point he was convinced it was Crohn's and even started discussing treatment plans. Wednesday we did a colonoscopy to "confirm", but it looked normal. He sent in biopsies anyway and redid her blood work, which showed her still anemic, and her white blood cell count and inflammatory markers almost doubled.



At this point Crohn's is still an option, but it is becoming more and more unclear. We are waiting for more blood results and biopsy results to take the next step. Meanwhile Nora seems to be getting worse each day. Up until the last week she has had horrible waves of pain and bad nights, but other then that has always been very happy, smiley and easy going. If you make eye contact with her she will give you a beautiful, big open mouthed smile. However this week she is not a happy camper at all. She couldn't eat for most of Tuesday and Wednesday because of the procedures, she became very dehydrated, and her blood work on Wednesday had to be taken from a vein in her scalp after being poked twice in each hand and foot. She normally loves to crawl around, get into things, stand up and cruise, but this week she just wants to be held and doesn't even have the strength to pull herself up anymore. Last night she screamed from 9:00pm until 2:45am. I definitely haven't been in denial - I am the one who has been insisting to her doc all this time that there was something wrong - however, this week has been sobering and depressing to say the least.



At this point I feel like I could honestly care less what her diagnosis is - I just want to know so I can take care of her the way she needs. Thank you to everyone who has been a huge support this last month with helping take care of Harper during all the many doctor's appointments, your words of encouragement and your prayers. I firmly believe that Heavenly Father guides people to our lives to help us through challenges and I have seen that this month more then any time in my life.

Harper Sings

The other day Harper asked to hold Nora, then said she wanted to sing to her, so I grabbed my camera. She normally does a much better job with her ABC's, but this was too funny not to post! Also, you might not be able to hear it, but at the very end when she pushes Nora's head down she's saying "Go night-night."

Women At Work

Sometimes life is full of surprises. I admit that I normally revel in these tiny unexpected moments of bliss, even sometimes when they might not be so blissful. I don't know, I guess there's a reason Tom calls me a Drama Queen. Call me crazy, but I like change - too much of the same thing really bores me.


However, I also do not like it when things don't go my way. I don't think I'm overly selfish, I just like to plan and I like to be in control of my plan, and I really don't like it when I'm not. My plan was to take four months off work after I had Nora - I have so much sick and vacation time saved up that I would have been paid my regular part-time salary for 2 of those months, so Tom and I figured we could go 2 months without. Unfortunately things didn't go as planned. It became glaringly obvious that the temp we hired (who was recommended by our CPA) was NOT working out about 5 days after I gave birth. I'd get 3-4 phone calls a day with him asking me the same questions over and over. It got to the point that it was more stressful babysitting this guy and fixing his mistakes then it would be to just go back to work and do it myself. At first I was extremely frustrated - not only because I didn't want to go back to work yet, but also because I really love my job and I didn't want to end up resenting it. But one of the reasons I love my job so much is because I have the best bosses in the world and they sat down with me and we worked everything out so that I would only have to come in once a week at the most. Tom also had to talk me down a couple times, reassuring me that everything would work out, and that he could stay home on the days I went into my office.

So two weeks ago I woke up at 5:00am - well actually I woke up at 2:00am to feed Nora who then refused to let me put her down, but I handed her off to Tom at 5:00am and got up to get ready to catch the train. It was kinda weird. Like I hadn't taken any time off at all, it was just back to routine as normal. It was even 30 degrees outside, just like my last day of work back in January.

My bag was packed with everything I needed to spend a full day away from my nursing daughter - a breast pump, milk collection bags, sanitary wipes to clean the pump, lots and lots of extra breast pads, and two ice packs to keep the milk cold on the train ride home. By the time I got to my office my boobs were already killing me, but I had so much work to do I had to ignore them for a couple of hours. By now my milk had let down three times and, fearing I would drown in my own milk, I decided to take a break and pump.

Even though I have my own office, I decided to pump in the bathroom since I have a rather large window by my door that looks right out into our reception area. At this point I only had my small one-boob pump (my sister sent me her big one last week, and even though it makes me feel like a cow, I love how efficient it is), so I took my bag into the bathroom and started pumping away. Like I said, I had been up since 2:00, and had only gotten about 2 hours of sleep, so sitting down without anything to do but listen to the (extremely loud) hum of the pump, I promptly feel asleep, right there on the toilet in the last stall of the floor's public restroom. I have no idea how long I was out, but it couldn't have been too long after I drifted off that I fell forward off the toilet and into the stall door in front of me. After I got my pumping back in order someone came into the bathroom and yelled "What is that NOISE??" I wasn't sure if I should just ignore her, or yell back, "IT'S A BREAST PUMP!" I tried to decide what to do quickly, but I was still kind of tired and maybe I hit my head too hard on the door, so I just sat there, pumping away, my mouth hanging open while I tried to decide what to say. Then the woman left without using the facilities, which I thought was kind of weird, but maybe she just had to look in the mirror or something. The other two times I pumped that day someone came in, which I found rather annoying because there's barely anyone on our floor and I almost never run into to anyone in the restroom when I use it. But I had been gone for almost two months, maybe some of the empty offices had been rented.

A week later I ventured back to Seattle with all my pumping paraphernalia. I grabbed the elevator along with 3 other women and while listening to the group's conversation I realized it was going to be a long day. One woman asked the other two women she was with if they had heard the buzzing in the bathroom yet. "No," they said, "It must have just been on that one day that you heard it." "It was weird," the first woman said, "because I know someone was in that stall but she didn't say anything." This is when I realized they were talking about ME. "Well she WAS in the bathroom, maybe she didn't feel like having a conversation." I was just staring at the floor trying to decide if I should pipe up and come clean that it was me when they turned to me and asked if I had heard it. "Umm...I don't know...what did it sound like?" Stupid! Why didn't I just say "Actually I think I know what you're talking about and I think it was my breast pump!" Then the four of us could have a nice laugh and be on with our day. But no. I had to act like I didn't know, and the answer I got to my question was, "Well to be honest, it kind of sounded like a vibrator." Great. Now I definitely couldn't own up to it. But it just got worse. "Oh my gosh," one of the other women said, "what if it was?! What if there's some perv in our building??"

And just like that, I was the Creepy Colman Building perv. The doors opened on my floor and I got off the elevator - halfway down the hall I wondered why I didn't just say "Maybe it was a breast pump." I would have dispelled any horrid rumors and I wouldn't have to admit it was me all along. More people came into the bathroom while I was pumping that day but no one said anything, and I just kept telling myself that I was doing this for Nora. When I got home that evening I opened my bag to put my milk in the freezer only to find that I hadn't closed the bags tight enough and they had spilled out everywhere. Nice. I hadn't done it for Nora, I had done it for nothing.

Thankfully the aforementioned awesome bosses said they would get blinds for my office window so I can pump in there - and no, I most certainly did not tell them it was because I was about to be black listed as the Colman Building Perv.

I hope any men out there reading this really appreciate what working mothers have to go through!

Dots and Spots

When I was growing up I had a very hard time with "dots". Dots were uncomfortable spots on my clothes that would annoy me - like a scratchy tag or the seam on the toe of my sock that would squish into my foot when I put my shoe on (the worst offender). I was notorious for throwing tantrums at the drop of a hat if I had a spot, even stopping in the middle of crossing the street to take my shoe off and fix the spot. For the most part my parents thought it was funny (and have pictures of the tantrums to prove it), but to be honest it really drove me crazy. I even went through a naked phase because the dots bothered me so much. My aunt and cousins in Orem know first hand about this phase - they were babysitting me while my parents were on vacation and I insisted on playing outside....naked. My aunt let me because she figured I'd get embarrassed after a couple minutes and come back in, but nope, I stayed out there all day and had a sun-burned butt to show for it.

As I got older I realized there were lots of other weird OCD things that I have. Some of them I have grown out of or overcome (I can sometimes walk on grates and/or cracks on the sidewalk...sometimes there is no way around it in Seattle), and some of them have actually gotten worse as I've gotten older (uneven blinds will be the death of me), but I always swore that when I had kids I would always take their "dots" seriously, and I would make sure my hubby did, too.

Harper does not have dots...she has "spots". And I swear I did NOT teach her!! About a year ago she started talking about spots, and coincidentally, they were usually on her feet. I am always very careful about how I put on her shoes, and if she says she has a spot I take them off and try again. I have also given Tom strict instructions, and he is very patient and loving about it. Probably because I still talk about how traumatic it was when no one would help me with my dots and just laugh at me.

Anyway, last Sunday was kind of a rough day. Harper has been having a hard time going to sleep at night, which makes her more prone to tantrums during the day. It is odd for me to deal with because she has never been one to throw tantrums or not sleep. I like to think I do a pretty good job of staying patient and helping her work through whatever issues she's having, but Sunday I was exhausted and really couldn't handle it. Tom had left to go to church meetings, but I called him and asked if he could come home and help me. I assumed he was going to just stay home and help out, but he decided to take Harper to church w/ him and give me some time alone at home. I thought that was really sweet of him because 1) Harper LOVES church and perked up as soon as I said she was going to church w/ Daddy, and 2) I really wanted some time alone.

When Tom got home I had Harper almost ready, she just needed to get her shoes on. He was already running late, so I was trying to hurry as fast as I could, but Harper said she had a spot. I tried to fix it a couple of times, but each time I put her shoe on the spot was still there.

And here is how I know I married the best man ever:

Tom picked up Harper and patiently asked her where the spot was. He took off her shoe, examined the tights and asked me if there were any other tights she could wear. Her other pair had dirt all over them, so he took off her tights, got a pair of scissors, and started cutting back the seam as much as he could so the spot wouldn't be so big. By now he was probably going to miss most of his meetings, but he took his time and kept telling Harper he would fix the spot. Finally he got her tights back on, put her shoes on and asked her if it was ok. Harper walked around for a second, nodded, and off to church they went.

And THAT is the proper way to deal with spots and dots.

Nora Evelyn

Almost three weeks ago on Friday, February 13th (my birthday!) I gave birth to Nora Evelyn. My actual due date was just two days ago, so she was a bit early, but everything went well and she was (and is) absolutely perfect. It was kind of a crazy experience doing it au naturale (no epidural), and minutes after I gave birth I made Tom promise me that he wouldn't let me do it again. He kept saying "But you did it! You did such a good job!", to which I yelled "NO, PROMISE ME!!" But honestly I felt great five minutes later, it was such an easy recovery.

Having two kids is really not as hard as I thought it was going to be, but there is definitely a rather lage lack of sleep. With one baby you can just sleep whenever she sleeps, but with a toddler and a baby that's not really possible...although I will admit to turning on Sleeping Beauty for Harper and falling asleep on the couch more then once.

Harper is such a sweet big sister, and I swear she can already communicate with Nora. She is always telling me what Nora wants: "Baby hungry," or "Baby sleepy," and just this morning she told me "Nora poopy", and indeed she was! When Nora cries Harper runs to her side to calm her - sometimes with "ssshhhh's", sometimes with tickles. She also love "taking naps" with Nora (I don't actually let them sleep together, but Harper likes to lay in her bed and then asks me to put Nora next to her to "take nap"), and even better, taking baths with her.

It is funny because I really thought I only wanted two children, but having Nora makes me realize I want another one....some day :)