After a year-long battle with cancer, my Grandma Lee passed away two weeks ago. Although it was not unexpected, it was a bit sooner then any of us anticipated - Tom and I had planned a trip to Utah in May to see her one last time and have her meet her newest great-granddaughter. When I found out she had days to live I was extremely depressed, especially knowing I probably wouldn't be able to go to the funeral, being almost 8 months pregnant. While part of me was glad I had last seen her when she was healthy, I mostly felt guilty and upset that I hadn't kept in better contact with her over this last year which I know was pretty much hell for her. I had the best intentions to call on a regular basis, send pictures of Harper, etc., but as always, time seemed to slip away too quickly. I have gotten through the last couple of weeks by remembering some of the really wonderful times I had with my Grandma.
Grandma was rather quirky. Her OCD and shopoholic-ness (yes, that's a word) combined for a condo-full of Ferragamo shoes, Lladro figurines, souvenirs from all her travels, and probably every book ever sold at Deseret Book. She kept everything, including shopping bags from the 50's, which I'm sure held some sort of sentimental significance to her....or maybe she just liked the bags...I can understand. Many things she bought never even got opened. When I lived in Orem I visited her a couple times a week - I'd pick up her mail, help her with her computer, and watch Wallace and Gromit with her. The first week I was there she got a Lladro box in the mail - I was so excited when I saw the box I ran up the stairs to her condo and said "Let's open it!!" "Oh no," she said, "just put it on the table with the other mail." I lived there for 4 months and it was in the same place the day I left. One day I jokingly asked if I could have it since she wasn't going to use it, but the very idea was rather appalling to her. Her reaction still makes me laugh.
Growing up, Grandma would come visit once a year. She always had the same suitcase and overnight bag, which Erica and I called the present bag. Each visit she would pull out something wonderful for all of us from that little flowered bag. Following the presents came the hugs, which were almost as good as the presents (that's saying a lot for a 6 year old girl with a new Strawberry Shortcake doll in her hands). She combined the perfect amount of squeeze and squish for the ultimate hug - and she always smelled lovely.
Grandma loved animals. When I was 8 she got a tiny black poodle named Sammy who she doted on and adored until he died in her arms just a few years ago. She had a horrible time with his death and didn't even want to let him out of her arms. My cousins surprised her with a cat, Lucy, to keep her company after Sammy died, and she quickly became a much-loved family member. Grandma said she could sit on her chair and watch Lucy play all day, and it was always fun to hear her stories of how Lucy could climb all the way to the top of her bookshelves. Pets were always treated as part of the family - when Grandma wrote letters (which she did very often) they always included love to Truman, Oliver and Scout.
The last time I saw her was Thanksgiving 2007 when she came to visit. After dinner I was talking about a certain frienemy who kept making inappropriate comments about me waiting "so long" to have kids and wondering why I wasn't pregnant again (Harper had just turned 1 at this point). Grandma patted my hand and reminded me that it was about "quality, not quantity", and that my "timing" was "no one else's business." Over the next year whenever anyone would ask me when I was going to have more kids I would smile and remember what my Grandma said.
If I start to get too sad thinking about Grandma, I always imagine her now with Grandpa, who died when she was about 5 months pregnant with my dad. I will miss my Grandma dearly, and I'm sad she didn't get to meet my baby, but after 60 years missing her sweetheart I'm glad she finally gets to be with him again.
